Total Pageviews

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Messiah (an opera in unending parts)

“The Messiah” was interesting .. lol .... it was good but if I ever want to go again within my life time hand me a revolver with a single bullet in it will you.

Somehow I didn’t realize it was opera .. I thought it was a symphony performance .. I can take raw music .. but when they make it into stew as in opera .. well my musical taste buds felt like fingernails on a chalkboard… As music The Messiah is great .. as opera .. I was tapping my toe (no not with the music) .. and listening to my hair grow.

The conductor was about 5’ 3” in height .. but he got over that problem with hair .. not shoulder type long hair .. but poofed up back-combed stuff .. Lots of it .. made his head look very big .. but not his brain. .. He was a pompous little bugger ..(For example, he stopped everything to tell me to stop smacking my bubble gum. I kept my mouth shut when I chewed .. after that. .. So when he told me to stop blowing bubbles I told him to make up his mind!) Whenever there was a pause for the next stanza ..(They were more like chapters and there were 50 of them) he would turn to the audience and stick out his chest .. and bow (as much as his tightly strung girdle would allow) amid waves of thunderous applause .. from the guy in the 16th row left. .. who seemed to have the same haircut . At the half time he paused and smiled then without a word, jumped down from his 3’ platform to the stage .. and goose marched off .. followed by the other 4 opera squealers. (two men and two women who sat on the front edge of the stage in dress uniform .. evening gowns and tuxedos and took turns singing the ‘lines’. ) The lady facing me absolutely wouldn’t laugh .. My whole family .. all 5 boys and my daughter and myself were screwing faces at her. .. Giving her the finger .. picking boogers out of our noses .. she still didn’t laugh or even smile .. till my son did some silly pantomime and fell backwards offh the back of his seat. She smiled .. and her make-up cracked!

I didn’t know this but you probably knew that there is no rhyming or melody allowed in opera .. especially if they sing in English … but they are allowed to repeat the same line 5 and 6 times at variable tones.. which sort of passes for rhyming …. in some circles .. I guess.

The part I liked best was the part where the audience was supposed to snore … there were these two guys in front … who were able to snore in harmony .. They might have been a bit loud but during the “hallelujah chorus” we could barely hear them cause the choir was booming so loud

and honest .. I had read that we are supposed to ‘sing along’ during the hallelujah chorus. And I know over half the words too. ….. But the conductor said that he didn’t need my help in getting audience participation.

and then at the end when the conductor got a bucket of roses on his regulation 2nd encore I was a bit miffed .. I figured the lady with the ‘cracked make-up’ was more deserving!!! .. Even though she didn’t come back for the encore.

1 comment:

  1. You're absolutely crazy funny!!! I was laughing out loud so many times reading this that my jaw hurts!!!