How Psychometricians get Laid
Jane: damn lottery!!!!
Jane: bought the wrong ticket again
Richard: you lost again!!!!
Jane: uh huh
Richard: hmmmm will you never learn?
Richard: next time pick the right numbers!!!
Jane: it's supposed to be 41 million
Jane: I dreamed it!! So it has to come true, right?
Richard: yep .. has to be
Richard: I should see if I have any tickets, less than a year old, hugging the inside of my wallet .
Richard: I tend to buy them and forget about them
Jane: It would be awful to have an expired winner
Jane: I don't think I'd want to know.
Richard: yes… have thought that a few times .. but then .. who would know ?
Jane: No you'd see them on the website and cry.
Richard: No… I have got one year ….. then they don’t show the old numbers so even I would never know!!!
Richard: I’m a three time lottery winner
Jane: yeah but $9 won't buy you a piece of ass these days
Richard: hmmmm that’s the theory I never tried
Jane: be fun to spent that kind of money
Richard: I won about 21$ .. 28$ and 85$
Richard: A friend of mine and I actually figured out the odds once if we bought enough tickets to fill in every possible combination .. 100%
Jane: And how much would you have to spend?
Richard: the chances of making a screw up and miss filing was about 98%
Richard: I forget but 5.5 million comes to mind .. somewhere around that might have been more. Would have to recalculate .. 49! (49 factorial)
Jane: How Psychometricians get high?
Richard: well we measure things like that
Jane: calculating odds?
Jane: yes, I know
Richard: closet statisticians
Richard: We thought we could borrow the risk capital from a bank considering we had a 100% chance of winning.
Richard: We were thinking of all the residuals too .
Jane: You’re turning me on.
Richard: Yeah I know .. me too .. all that math .. not to mention all that money.
Richard: we started thinking about the risks. Millions and millions of numbers to calculate and keep track of. Possible errors of duplications could cost time and millions. Just the record keeping to be able to find the winning ticket(s) when we won would be daunting. .. and what if there was a misfile .. and renting space to keep the tickets .. and the fact that you could never fill out that many tickets at one store .. even if you arranged with the lotto people ahead of time ..
Jane: I want to suck your ..
Richard: You would have to have it preset in a 1000 7-11’s .. and what if a clerk messed up .. you would have to hire a small army of your own clerks and train them to make sure your interests were covered.
Richard: Your expenses would double. You would have to pay employment insurance on all those employees. You would need a CFO .. (Major crook insurance) .. hmmm what else?
Jane: did you even see what I said?
Richard: no what did you say?
Richard: Oh that? Maybe later I’m thinking now.
Jane: I am so hot!!
Jane: I read about a math wizard who bought a bunch of those cheapie lotto tickets
Jane: you know those $2 ones
Jane: pay out up to 25000
Jane: He calculated the odds of winning
Jane: took out the max loan he could afford and bought tickets
Jane: I think the loan was $8000
Jane: and he won over 70 000
Jane: in a weekends play
Jane: was a new game
Richard: and ?
Jane: there are interesting 'ways' of playing
Jane: where you use grids of numbers
Jane: saw one posted on 649
Jane: should have sent it to you
Jane: cause I didn't understand it
Jane: but you prolly would have
Richard: yes would be interesting to see if a person could increase the chances of scoring.
And that’s how Psychometricians get laid!!