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Monday, April 4, 2011

Classy Insults

When Insults Had Class
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

1 A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

2 "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

3 "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

4 "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

5 "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

6 "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

7 "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

8 "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

9 "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

1 "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
a. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

11. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
12. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
13. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
14. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
15. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
16. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
17. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
18. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
19. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
210. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
211. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
212. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


  1. LOL - loved them but John Bright's was the best -- Mae West's coming in a close 2d

  2. I liked it and really it is so interesting and wonderful information, too!