When Insults Had Class 
These glorious insults are from an era before the     English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. 
  
 
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1 A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." 
  
2 "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." 
  
  
3 "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr 
  
  
4 "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill 
  
  
5 "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow 
  
  
6 "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). 
  
  
7 "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas 
  
  
8 "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain 
  
  
9 "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde 
  
  
1 "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill 
  
a.       "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response. 
  
  
  
11.  "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop 
  
12.  "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright 
  
13.  "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb 
  
14.  "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson 
  
15.  "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating 
  
16.  "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand 
  
17.  "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker 
  
18.  "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain 
  
19.  "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West 
  
210.  "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde 
  
211.  "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 
  
212.  "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder 
  
 "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx  | 
LOL - loved them but John Bright's was the best -- Mae West's coming in a close 2d
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